‘Miss Goody Two-Shoes’
‘Miss Goody Two-Shoes’
The role Cynthia’s chose for herself in her family was ‘Miss Goody Two-Shoes’. She learned early in childhood to protect her place in the family by becoming ‘Mummy’s Little Helper’. Always ready to run errands, stack toys, mediate in arguments and look after her younger sibling, and in her teens became the ‘go-between’ her parents.
As the ‘good girl’ she got lots of positive attention. The down-side of this is that as a teenager she was used as a mediator between Mummy and Daddy when their marriage started falling apart. ‘Miss Goody Two-Shoes’ is often used and manipulated into doing things she doesn’t want to do, so desperate is she to keep getting positive attention.
As she grew older Cynthia started feeling angry at having to be the ‘meat in the sandwich’, having to behave as an adult when all the adults were behaving like children. She was also jealous of her sister who was ‘Mummy’s favourite’ and who could get away with everything.
After her parents split up, Cynthia took it upon herself to be the ‘responsible one’. Soothing her Mother and sister, sorting out family problems and secretly becoming critical and resentful for having to fix everybody and everything.
In her late teens Cynthia met her partner who himself is a ‘Critical Parent’ who tells her off when she does something wrong. Unused to criticism her buried anger and resentment is acted out in the relationship with temper tantrums, breaking things, and provoking arguments. As the ‘good girl’ she hates these outbursts and resents being constantly criticised.
‘Miss Goody Two-Shoes’ can often become a door-mat and a martyr, the one who remains at home to look after her aging parents, the one who becomes ‘the family counsellor’, the employee who has to work harder and longer hours. She says things like “I have to do everything myself”, “How could they cope without me”? “Without me they would fall apart”.
Of course there’s nothing wrong with helping out, looking after our parents when they grow old and being kind and helpful when it’s called for. It’s our irrational beliefs that drive us to believe that without us everything and everybody would fall apart that keep us locked into the 'Miss Goody Two-Shoes' role, and the underlying attendant anger and resentment which keeps Miss Goody Two-Shoes in a constant state of guilt and remorse.
Cynthia started working with our ‘Emmote’ process a few months ago, this is what she says;
“Before I met Annie I was angry…very very angry…about everything and anything I could possibly be angry about, the mop wouldn’t work so I’d break it, I’d have a bad day at work so I’d throw something at the wall when I got home. I was so easily frustrated and irritated that I lived my life in a constant state of anxiety, just waiting for the next thing to trigger me. It got to a point that my partner persuaded me something needed to be done, we had a chat to his father who had also used ‘Emmote’ and he suggested Annie.
I thought it sounded too simple, too easy…but it was initially hard to face up to all of the negative thought patterns I had learned, and was constantly playing out. Once I started to see, and accept that they were there, and that they could be changed, I embarked on a journey of emotional growth. Although I have not eradicated every negative thought pattern, I am well on my way to being happier, calmer, and more adult in my dealings with others and the way I live my life. And my relationship with my partner has become so much better”
Does Cynthia’s story familiar to you? Then why not try getting rid of the 'negative beliefs' you unconsciously created as a child to get attention and approval. I’d love to hear your comments, please share your experience with us if you or a friend chose to be 'Miss Goody Two-Shoes'.
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Our unique ‘Emmote’ process works deep at cellular level by totally removing the ‘negative thoughts and feelings’ that create a ‘negative belief’. It also severs the hardwired synapses in our brain between the thought and the feelings, eliminating them. Completely! Permanently!
And because we teach you how to use the ‘Emmote’ process we empower you with the knowledge and tools to help yourself whenever anything negative comes up for you in the future. So what have you got to lose?
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©Annie Moyes –January 2013- All rights reserved
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