“LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE”
“LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE’ children yell to each other when they get hurt or belittled. So why do children start telling lies?
Lying usually begins in childhood and is done to try to protect ourselves from something we have done or imagined is bad or wrong so we don’t get punished.
If we believe we are being accused of something, we immediately go into a defensive or survival mode and start trying to deny it. This is ‘a reflex self-protective response’ to a situation that has made us feel afraid, ashamed and/or guilty.
We learn early to try to deflect punishment away from us, even blaming others to escape punishment, trying out different ways of protecting ourselves, particularly if we have critical or abusive parents.
These ‘evasions and dishonesty’ often continue as we mature into adulthood growing more elaborate and becoming a ‘the story’ we tell to others about ourselves to cover up what we believe to be the ‘bad/dirty/guilty’ parts of ourselves.
Lying becomes so automatic we are unable to be honest with anybody, least of all ourselves. The problem is that when we tell a lie it becomes part of the ‘secret life of us’, the ‘unmentionable guilt or shame’ that lying creates that triggers each time we fear we will be caught out.
Example; A client’s brother has not seen or spoken to her for over 20 years because he sexually abused her as a teenager and forced her to lie about it saying he would tell everybody that she had started it. He cannot bring himself to confront his dishonesty and shame and has left his sister to suffer from depression and addictions all her life.
Example; A boyfriend once asked me how many men I had sex with in the past – I asked him if he wanted me to tell the truth or lie. He decided he didn’t want to know. That way I didn’t have to lie to him or tell him the truth! Which is best?
These ‘secrets and lies’ grow like a cancer, eating away at our peace, our conscience and self-image. Our shame and guilt builds at each new deceit and grinds away at our self-esteem and creates a life of misery, addictions and broken relationships.
“We All Lie In One Way Or Other!”
A lot of us pretend to be what we are not, we say yes when we want to say no, we smile when we want to scream, we pretend we’re OK when we are falling apart, we have sex when we don’t want it and we exaggerate our skills and talents because we can’t let others know how inferior and worthless we believe we are.
Some people aren’t so good at overt lying while others become such consummate liars that they can look people in the eye and convince them they’re telling the truth. Some of us can become such seasoned liars, when we’ve run the story enough times we even come to believe it ourselves.
If you’re a seasoned liar, ashamed or afraid to tell the truth, if you have problems being honest or find it difficult to tell fact from fiction, offload your guilty secret, or a lie you told that got someone in trouble, in the comment box below, you’ll feel so much better for it!
Or hop over to our Contacts Page to receive your FREE ONE-HOUR Skype or One-On-One session and send us a message. We will get back to you.
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Our ‘Emmote’ process works by eliminating the ‘negative thoughts and feelings’ that create a ‘negative belief’ at cellular level. It also severs the hardwired synapses between the thought and the feelings, eliminating them. Completely! Permanently!
And because we teach you how to use the ‘Emmote’ process, in the privacy of your own home, when you choose, we empower you with the knowledge and tools to help yourself whenever any negative thoughts of feeling comes up for you.
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Copyright – Annie Moyes. 2014- 2017 – All Rights Reserved
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