Core Belief No.4; I Hate Myself

Core Belief No.4; I Hate Myself

How Do You Know If You Have This Belief? As in Core Belief No. 3, grab a pen, paper but add a calculator and then go and look in a mirror, a full-length one is preferable.  Now look into your eyes and then look slowly down your body. You will not want to do this because you will have the ‘voice-over’ whispering in your ear and you might feel like crying or feel angry and want to stop. But be strong and persist. Do this for at least 3...

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“Love And Other Bruises”

“Love And Other Bruises”

“Love and other bruises didn’t have to choose us, but it did and I’m alive and I’m trying to survive” Air Supply Why does something that once felt so good now feel so terrible? That feeling of incredible love you felt when you first met the one your believed was ‘the one’. You know, ‘the one’  you believed would make you happy, support you and be there for you for the rest of your life? ‘The one’ you adored,...

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You Have To Be Perfect Or You’ll End Up Like Me!

You Have To Be Perfect Or You’ll End Up Like Me!

‘Sarah always had to colour inside the lines, not get herself dirty, eat everything on her plate and not talk back’ My client Sarah’s mother, who had a lifelong battle with her weight, took Sarah to her ‘Weight-Watchers’ group every week from the day she was born until she was thirteen years old and refused to go any more. During the week her mother would also invite her Weight-Watcher’s friends around and they...

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“LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE”

“LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE”

“LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE’ children yell to each other when they get hurt or belittled.  So why do children start telling lies? Lying usually begins in childhood and is done to try to protect ourselves from something we have done or imagined is bad or wrong so we don’t get punished. If we believe we are being accused of something, we immediately go into a defensive or survival mode and start trying to deny it. This is ‘a...

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A Child Who Lives With Criticism, Learns How To Condemn!

A Child Who Lives With Criticism, Learns How To Condemn!

“Children believe everything you say to them” Painful, hurtful and cutting criticisms become the ‘truth’ for children. If you don’t want your children to hate you when they grow up, here are a few examples from teenagers who were constantly criticised by their parents and who no longer have any contact with them.  Rob; “Both my parents give me the feeling that nothing I do is ever good enough. I am never enough. I...

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You Just Broke Your Child’s Heart!!!

You Just Broke Your Child’s Heart!!!

The Negative Things Adults Say To Children. Here are just some of the shocking negative things that adults say to children, I have collected hundreds of these put-downs, criticisms and  threats over the years I have been working with clients. Some are so shocking just the thought of having to hear them from a parents mouth is enough to make you shudder! One client’s mother told him every day from the time he was two years old “You are a...

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