Keep your opinions to yourself!

“Why would I want to hear your opinions when I've got so many more interesting opinions of my own?”

“I don't know about you, but if there's one thing I can't stand, its opinionated people!  Opinionated people are everywhere. There's probably one sitting or standing beside you right now. Go on, look at them. There they are, the 'Great I-Am Right', eyes shining with indignation, swinging their pompous little cake-holes open and shut, spouting out one self-important proclamation after another.

Have you actually heard anything they're saying? Probably not! You doubtless switched off when they first started pontificating. And little wonder!  Everything they say blurs into one great big river of ‘blah’......: it's all "If you ask me . . ." and "Well, what I think is . . ." and "I think you'll find…” or “In my opinion”….

Some of us like to air our opinions in public, some of us learn early to keep our opinions to ourselves. Sometimes we do both. If we are emotionally intelligent we know when it is wise, prudent, or necessary to air our opinions, and we know to do that only under three conditions;

1) To give our opinion when it is asked for- i.e. What's your opinion?"
2) To ask permission to give an opinion - "Can I give you my opinion?"
3) In an emergency (i.e. life threatening situation!!) "This guy is dying, I think we should phone for an ambulance!"

Other than these three situations, emotionally intelligent people keep their opinions to themselves, unless of course we agree with another's opinion; in which case we can nod,smile, clap or show other forms of approval, all of which will be happily accepted.

However, negative or critical opinions are always about judging and condemning others. Negative or critical opinions are the stuff of PG’s (Problem Generator's)  and ‘Critical Parent’. However helpful we think we are being when we're the ones dishing out our opinions, they more often than not repel people and put them off confiding in us. Maybe because they fear our disapproval, maybe it makes them feel like a child, or maybe it just makes them feel controlled and manipulated. Sometimes people do not take kindly to receiving our opinions, and offering them up without thinking before we speak can make people feel we are pompous, arrogant or patronising. Just think of how we feel when people push their negative opinions at us!

Yes, we are all entitled to an opinion but when our opinions are in danger of upsetting, alienating or are disparaging or critical of others, we should keep our opinions to ourselves.