What Is Criticism?

Criticism is: Censure; disapproval; dissatisfaction, disappointment, displeasure; condemnation; denigration; fault-finding; frustration, nit-picking; carping; nagging; discrimination; bigotry; belittling; scorn, cynicism.

“Both my parents give me the feeling that nothing I do is ever good enough. I am never enough. I don't even have to be doing wrong either, I can be doing well and doing really good and there is just something negative or really mean or really hurtful that they say or do. The silent treatment. Ignoring me. Telling me I am noisy or annoying or bothersome. Telling me I'm messy, disorganised, that I'm not normal, that no one else is like this”.

“My dad has never believed in me. He constantly thinks I am going to fail or that I will fail - whatever I undertake I am going to fail because I am a failure - that is the implicit message. When I wanted to go back to school, he didn't believe I could do it. He didn't believe it. He's never believed in me.......and if I had ever seen myself the way my parents saw me, I would have killed myself long ago. I used to think I was born to lose but I don't believe that anymore”.

“Every time after a fight, I want to hurt myself. I feel worthless. But this time I know I'm not wrong because I have been doing well and because I have been responsible. I have done things right and have been improving and they still criticise me and everything I do is still wrong or flawed”.

“The therapist says I am the scapegoat of the family. I am sick and tired of it. If they want to live their lives unhappily and as miserable failures, why should I live that way and see myself that way? I don't want to”.

“I'm sick of being told I can't do this or that. I don't remember much praise growing up - just a lot of yelling, screaming, ignoring, passive punishment, criticism, being told I'm wrong, discouragement, denial, and me always ending up crying after a fight - then I'm told I'm ‘too emotional or oversensitive’”.

“I don't really think my parents are that normal anymore even though they imply that I'm the one that's not normal. Something about the way they are, and the way they live is very negative. I feel like a plant that's trying to grow in polluted dirt”.

Do you find yourself mentally criticising, judging or condemning others? Are you constantly appraising their actions, how they look, what they are wearing and how they speak? If you had critical parents and became infected by their constant criticism you are or will probably become a ‘critical parent’. These programmed ‘critical beliefs’ are causing you to do exactly the same thing to your own children. It’s a vicious cycle, our parents criticise us, we believe them and we take it out on others.

There is no such thing as ‘constructive criticism’. All criticism comes from self-criticism and is extremely destructive - damaging our own and others self-esteem, self-worth, relationships and the very core of our being. If you are critical, people come to dislike and steer away from you, no-one wants to be around a person who undermines and belittles them, so your criticism becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, your parents criticised you and you unconsciously take revenge by paying others back with the same criticism so that your beliefs about yourself come true, you have become a self-righteous, carping prig and not worth anything, just like your Dad told you.

When we start becoming self-aware we start noticing how negative and critical we really are.  When we become aware of our negative thoughts we realise it is extraordinary how few positive thoughts we think, how many compliments we fail to give, how much approval we withhold from others, how much our thoughts are dominated by so many negative influences that it becomes harder and harder to see the good in anything or anyone, including ourselves.

If you would like to get rid of your ‘critical beliefs’ and start being able to look at yourself and others in a positive way and rebuild your self-confidence and self-worth, just buy a copy of our e-book; ‘Wealth - Beyond Belief’ for just $21.50- which contains everything you need to know about ‘Emmote’ - and which you can download through our store - and start getting rid of your critical negative beliefs RIGHT NOW!

Or if you would prefer to see if ‘Emmote’ is right for you, use our Contacts Form to write to us. You have nothing to lose but your self-critical negative thoughts and feelings!

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