What Is THE Meaning of Life?
I've been watching Stephen Hawkins’s - Grand Design, and last night’s episode was, ‘The Meaning of Life’. As I watched the programme I remembered the exact moment in 2002, aged 54, when I realised that there is NO MEANING to life.
I had been quite seriously ill for the previous year and was still in recovery after the break-up of a long-term relationship. I had lost all motivation; I was physically and emotionally exhausted and had come to a complete stop. I didn't want to think about the future because all I could see was a reflection of the past repeating itself and the thought of that was so awful, I just wanted to sit and do nothing.
Prior to my illness I had eliminated of a lot of negative beliefs, so you can imagine how horrified I was to get sick after all the work I had done on myself. What was going on here? And so I sat day after day, reading, sleeping, getting treatment I kept myself shut in the house, dreading the thought of having to actually make some decision about my future.
On this fateful day, whilst playing 4 deck Spider Solitaire on my computer, feeling sort of empty and unmotivated, an (uninvited) friend dropped around for a cup of tea.
I told him how I was feeling and he sat and thought for a while, and then he said, like some wanton wise man bearing a precious gift, “Perhaps you’re feeling like this because you've stopped creating all the drama in your life".
I was about to argue that ‘I DON'T CREATE DRAMA’, when I saw my whole life, rather like a drowning women would, flashing before me. The childhood abuse, the broken hearts and relationships, the reoccurring illnesses and accidents, the business successes and failures, the endless, meaningless dramas that had been my previous life.
There was no more hiding from it. A spotlight had come on in my head and was shining its light so I could truly see reality for the first time in my life! Although I thanked my friend for sharing his thoughts with me, I also silently resented that he thought my life had been full of drama, at the same time knowing how right he was. Ouch, how the truth hurts!!
I had consciously created a great future but my negative beliefs had unconsciously created the drama to keep playing out the story created from them to ensure that my future couldn't work. Which would then keep me validating my negative beliefs. I had been chasing my tail in an ever decreasing circle all my life!
It took a few days of some deep soul-searching to realise that without all the drama I had NO MEANING IN MY LIFE. This was a disaster, how could I go on without the meaning the dramas had given my life.
And then the answer came to me, there is NO meaning TO life, there is only meaning IN life. That is - the meaning we give it!
As we head into 2015, perhaps reflecting on what makes us happy and doing more of that, will give our life more meaning and purpose.
So now you can stop looking for THE meaning of life and start living YOUR meaning. The work I do to help others transform their lives has been my meaning and my purpose for the past eight years.
As Stephen Hawking confirmed at the end of the programme, each one of us has to 'create our own meaning'. Getting rid of your "I have no meaning" beliefs and doing what makes you the happiest creates your meaning and purpose.
I wish you and your loved ones a meaningful 2015.
©Annie Moyes – December 2014
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