Perhaps it’s because the latest divorce statistics seem to reflect that marriage seems to be taken less seriously than buying a house. And buying a new car seems to be more logically and carefully thought out than choosing the right partner!  Twenty-three of the world’s wealthiest countries record a shocking 38 - 55% of marriages ending in divorce, with Belarus, Finland, Sweden, Norway and Luxemburg recording the highest percentage at between 50-55%. India, Armenia, Albania, Italy, Sri Lanka and Turkey come in with lowest rates of between 1-10%. Looking at the statistics perhaps there’s is indeed something in the old saying about ‘money not buying happiness?’ With such statistics, it’s no wonder that we feel so much anxiety about our upcoming nuptials.

Perhaps it could be that we realise that we just don’t know our intended partner well enough to make a lifetime commitment, or that our expectations of what marriage is ‘supposed to look like’ is based not on reality but on ancient belief systems and fairy tales. Also if we come from a family where our parents divorced we might be scared the same thing will happen to us and we worry about whether we’ve chosen the right person to commit to.

Another reason so many of us still choose marriage over cohabitation might be that the relationships of couples who just ‘live together’ are more fragile and are far more inclined to break down than legal marriages because there is no real commitment to make it work.  Startling statistics also prove that children of couples who ‘cohabitate’ are more at risk of sexual and physical abuse by live-in step-parents and are more likely to get into trouble or run away from home than their friends whose parents are legally married.

So why do women put themselves under so much pressure to have the biggest, best and most expensive wedding they can afford, or even going in debt for it, spending more time and energy thinking about a wedding dress than considering the consequences of a lifetime ‘having and holding’ the same person through thick and thin, even hiring a ‘Wedding Planner’ to co-ordinate the event. It’s a shame we don’t employ ‘A Marriage Councillor” before getting married!

Most men would be happy with a Registry Office or a Marriage Celebrant with a few friends to help them celebrate, so why do most women still buy into into the fairytale of Cinderella and Prince Charming and the expectations of what a wedding day ‘should look like’ and even now believe that without the huge spectacle attached to it she is inferior, a throwback to the days not so long ago when the husband ‘owned’ the wife and was always considered more important?

If you’re getting married soon and are having some doubts, it might be worthwhile to eliminate as many negative beliefs as you can before you take your wedding vows, so that you can have not only have the ‘Wedding of your Dreams’ without stress and anxiety, and go into your marriage completely sure that you have chosen your life’s partner and are committed to making it work.

If you would like to know more about how ‘ to get rid of your ‘negative prediction’ beliefs you can buy a copy of our e-book; ‘Wealth - Beyond Belief’ for just $21.50- which contains everything you need to know about ‘Emmote’ - and start getting rid of your negative beliefs RIGHT NOW!

If you would like to book a one-on-one or Skype session with one of our facilitators  use our Contacts Form to write to us. You have nothing to lose except not becoming part of the latest divorce statistics!  We 100% Guarantee it!

For over eight years we have been teaching, with remarkable success, a unique self-help programme we call (‘Emmote’). In 2003 we began working with clients suffering with low self-esteem, depression, addictions, eating disorders, anxiety and panic attacks, chronic phobias, long-term illness relationship and money issues. We are still amazed at the extraordinary changes that happen in their lives in a very short time.

‘Emmote’ is nothing like Mindfulness, NLP, ACT or EFT, positive thinking, Hypnotherapy, Kinesiology, Time Line Therapy, Psychology or any other alternative self-help programmes currently on offer. It doesn’t require hours of talk therapy, meter work, body tapping or brain switching, muscle testing or wasting hours each day repeating positive affirmations. Nor to we have to set up a ‘wish-board’ and ask the universe to manifest what we want! In fact, it’s the complete opposite! Finding our negative beliefs and using our very simple technique completely eliminates them!

Can it be that simple? Absolutely! By owning and eliminating negative beliefs about ourselves, others and the world around us we become more emotionally balanced, positive, stronger and happier and because our energy changes we begin attracting what we want to us. Communication with others improves, our motivation increases, sadness lifts and relationships grow stronger.

As we gain more self-control, as our self-esteem and self-confidence grow we become more of the person we were born to be and less of the person we ‘believe’ we are. As we become calmer and more rational the things we believed we want change to the things we know we want - for most of what we lack is based on our beliefs about our ‘deservability’.

Most of our clients have found that ‘Emmote’ used regularly for a period of around 6-12 months has greatly reduced their depression, anxiety and addictions. And the best thing about is that it is so simple and inexpensive to learn that even a ten-year old can do it and in fact they do! Many clients have taught their children how to do it.

Can you believe it? No more expensive therapy, no more waiting for weeks or even months for an appointment to see a Psychologist or Counsellor and no more low self-esteem? Just buy a copy of our e-book; ‘Wealth - Beyond Belief’ for just $21.50 — which contains everything you need to know about ‘Emmote’ — and which you can download through our store — and you can start getting rid of your negative beliefs RIGHT NOW!

Or, if you would prefer to see if ‘Emmote’ is right for you, or would like to book a One-On-One or Skype Session with one of our facilitators use our Contacts Form to write to us. You have nothing to lose but your self-destructive negative thoughts and feelings!  We 100% Guarantee It!

I woke this morning and realised I had been dreaming about a book. It seemed that it was a book I had already in my computer but for some reason or another I had not read it before. I was clicking through the pages and saw the word BELIEF in an index. I clicked on the word Belief and opened the page. It started with the words ‘looking back upon my life it seems to have all been a complete waste of time’. This is all I read before I became ‘aware’ that I was dreaming about a book.

On slowly waking up, I allowed my mind to think upon this which led me to the thought which I should have been aware of for many years. That is, ‘we cannot control our thoughts’. Of course I have been AWARE of the fact that we cannot control our thoughts, having tried to do many times to, through meditation, but I was not so aware to the fact that is it ‘practically impossible’ to control our thoughts.

What prompted me to remember this was that I had recently read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, ‘Eat, Pray, Love” in which she takes herself of to an ashram in India to try to overcome the depression she was experiencing after the breakdown of her marriage. At the ashram she finds it incredibly difficult to meditate because she cannot still her mind. Which reflects my own and most others personal experience.

These thoughts then went on to trigger even further thoughts and I came to the realisation, that unless we are ‘trying to meditate’ or ‘trying to concentrate’ on the task at hand, our mind is constantly evaluating, judging, critiquing and remembering. Even as I write this I find my mind directing my thoughts, my actions and bringing up past memories and the feelings attached to them.

I then for the first time really understood how easy it is for children to take on negative beliefs. They have absolutely no control of what they think, as any person who’s been at the end of a child’s remark – “you look really horrible in that’, and “I hate you Mum”!

As adults we still struggle with how to process the information we are receiving to our brain, trying to sort the wheat from the chaff, filtering, evaluating and accepting or discarding, based on our own belief systems, values and prejudices.

However, children’s minds are like huge sponges, they absorb information at incredible speed in the first five years of their lives, because their pre-frontal cortex - a small group of brain cells at birth - it takes twenty-odd years to reach its full stature - as the sergeant major of the adult brain -  is not yet developed, children have no way of filtering out what they are taking in, they are totally at the mercy of their imagination, experiences and observation, with only their feelings and instincts to rely on. One of the many jobs of the pre-frontal cortex is to regulate the emotional responses from the Amygdala and the Limbic System and when not developed all we are is a product of our feelings.

There is little doubt that thanks to the Prefrontal Cortex, as adults we are able to ‘display’ or act as if we are in control, however, it sometimes takes a single word or a memory to trigger our emotions and ‘lose it’.

Some of us learn to control our ‘emotional being’ showing what, to us more emotional beings, would seem callousness, ruthlessness, violence or detachment. Often these people are quick to critisise those of us who cry at the drop of a hat.

Our emotions have remarkable control over us. It may seem as we busily go about our lives, deciding what actions are best for our future, casting our critical eye over people and events, and passing judgment on them that we are in control, however, research shows that it is more often than not, our emotions that are actually running us.

Annie Moyes – February 2012

This age-old threat does much to force children to overeat, or come to hate certain food.  From the day we’re born, we are fed what we need to survive or we wouldn’t be here now. What we are fed is entirely at the discretion of our parents. If our parents were raised on good healthy food, it is likely that they will give us good, healthy food. If our parents were given food that contained lots of fats and sugars it’s likely that they will feed us the same.

As young children we have to eat what we are told to eat. Yes we can spit it out, yes we can refuse, but mostly we eat what are given or we go hungry. Depending on our culture, we will be given anything from raw fish and rice to deep fried battered fish, with a side serve of fried chips, and although the thought of raw fish would make a lot of us feel like vomiting, the children bought up on raw fish by and large enjoy their food as those of us raised on fried fish and chips!

A young child has millions of freshly minted taste-buds that are super-sensitive to all new tasting food. Obviously after the blandness of breast milk or formula any introduced food will be a revelation to their taste-buds. Given that children prefer sweet to sour, they will choose ice-cream over Brussels sprouts any time. It is easy for children to quickly become addicted to sugar and fat. Food addictions and aversions start early and once programmed into our subconscious are extremely difficult to break.

Children have tiny stomachs and it doesn’t take much to fill them up. So why do we insist they eat more than they need?  We push piles of food at children and if they can’t eat it we threaten them with no dessert.  Presented with that choice children will force food down whether they want it or not. Children get a lot of negative beliefs about food from an early age. When food becomes a game we threaten our children with, it has a huge impact on their beliefs about food in their adult lives.

With the massive increase in Anorexia and Bulimia and Obesity throughout the world, surely something has gone terribly wrong with society’s attitude towards food?  The media pushes our young girls to be thin and food has become the enemy for a lot of them. Fast food conglomerates push high carb and fat food and in the same set of TV ads. We see skinny girls pretending to eat Domino’s Pizza, or feigning that a Kentucky fried chicken leg is her favourite choice of dinner. How confusing is that for most kids?

Now if girls are even a little overweight they are teased and bullied, belittled and laughed at. Once on this treadmill they begin to feel emotionally empty and mistaking this emptiness for hunger, begin to ‘comfort eat’. One of my client’s five-year-old daughter who was called fat at school now has beliefs that she is fat and that she has to be thin! Thank goodness Mum knows how to help her daughter eliminate these beliefs before they become part of the beliefs she grows up with!

This is a double-edged sword. When children are ostracised they often turn to food when they are excluded. Food is easy to get and in plentiful supply in most countries, and excluded children will either binge on food or refuse it to try to fit in with the crowd. These children will take on negative beliefs about being excluded, bullied, different and not belonging. They will begin to hate their bodies and themselves. They will judge themselves as fat and ugly, worthless and useless and stupid and will spend the rest of their lives struggling with weight and self-esteem issues.

The diet roundabout is just another way for the manufacturers of ‘health and diet plans’, the inventors of diet fads and pills, the magazine industry that pushes anorexia and bulimia as a way of being, and cosmetic surgeons who are all making billions out of selling us and telling us that we are not worthy unless we are thin and wrinkle free.Removing negative beliefs about our appearance and food rebuilds self-esteem and self-confidence and the feelings of emptiness and exclusion disappear. No weight-loss programme can do what removing negative beliefs can do.

Can you believe it? No more diets, no more food obsessions or aversions and no more low self-esteem? Just  contact us through this page or check out our website to find out how you can start getting rid of your  negative beliefs about food beliefs RIGHT NOW! www.happiness-beyond-belief.com

There’s an old saying that goes ‘When poverty comes in the door, love flies out the window’ and in many cases the breakdown of relationships is exacerbated by money worries.  However looking at the divorce rate between the rich and famous, it could be argued that having too much money gives them too much choice, so when they’re become dissatisfied with their partner, they can just pay them to leave, leaving them free to select a younger, prettier model, rather like trading in your car when the next model comes out! All this recorded and televised for the world to see and to make us wonder whether having that much money is really good for us. These public displays of millionaire divorce play directly into other trite negative beliefs that ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’ and ‘money can’t buy love’.

My parents were always broke, we had very little to call our own and what we did have was second-hand or charity clothes and furniture. Always living on-the-edge of having enough to feed us and going without was a precarious existence and as a child I learned quickly that ‘Money is hard to come by’ and that I was ‘different’ from other people. Although it wasn’t until I was old enough to start comparing myself to other children that I became aware of the stigma of being poor. I was unconsciously being programmed with my parent’s negative beliefs about money which created so much stress and worry that I came to believe that ‘I would never have what others had’ and that “I will always be poor”.

When I was a teenager I promised myself “I will not end up like them” because I believed that my low self-esteem and unhappiness and my shame about being poor was entirely caused by our not having money.

When we look at our friends who have the latest gadgets and toys and nice homes, it’s easy to become jealous and envious and wish we had the same. This envy can cripple us or we can use it positively to make a life where money is just part of our life but not everything.  My parents stayed together for years but eventually they split up, both at an age where they should have been comfortable and enjoying their lives together, but the constant stress and poverty had for years created a rift that no amount of money could have fixed.

Yes, relationships do suffer if there’s little money, the struggle to survive and make ends meet is always paramount, so what happiness there could be is spoiled by the constant anxiety and worry about money.  In ‘Wealth – Beyond Belief’ you can learn how to get rid of your negative beliefs about money so you can enjoy your life, your partner and your children, and ensure that they don’t grow up believing that “Without money I am nothing” which seems to be today’s world anthem.

Annie Moyes – 2012

I never waste my money buying glossy magazines, I like the great design and the glossiness of them, but they usually bore the pants off me, all those lipsticks, each one promising to make our lips look like Angelina Jolie! Fat chance of that unless we subject ourselves to Botox! All those expensive moisturisers that swear to take ten years off our face! The fact is that they use 14 year old models to advertise their latest miracle product. Not much hope for me then, although I wasn’t bad looking at 50 even if I do say so myself.

Anyway I digress, I was at the doctors the other day and I saw an article on Lady Gaga – sounds a bit like reverting back to childhood speech when you say her name doesn’t it? So this article went and I quote verbatim;

“Lady Gaga The Most Powerful Pop-Star In The World – sparked hysteria among her devoted Australian fans in her recent tour, but her heartbreaking confession shows that behind the costumes and make-up is an incredibly lonely young woman whose hope of finding love is dwindling. “There is no hope for me” she admits “I find romance in the pearls I slept with in my hands last night because I feel so lonely".

Although surrounded by a circus of stylists, minders and back-up dancers she has not true friend by her side. “It’s like the more famous she gets, the more isolated she gets” says a source. Really, she obviously did not study other rich and famous people before she decided to thrill the world with her younger, fitter act of Madonna. Although I must say I do think she has a better singing voice.

GaGa says she’s “Just trying to change the world one sequin at a time” and with a wardrobe she showed off in Sydney last week we think she’s succeeded!” Lady GaGa’s net earnings a year are $65 million which make that total about $185 million to date. Not bad for a 26 year old who sometimes looks decidedly weird! If this puts off prospective suitors then who can be blamed for her feeling so lonely? And GaGa, you’re still just a baby you have lots of time to find Mr. Right and hopefully live happily ever after amongst all your costumes.

Anyway my main point here is that ‘Money Does Not Buy You a Partner or Stop You Feeling Lonely’. But it does expand your horizons, get you an enormous following and might set you up a secure future, that’s if you look after it, but that applies to everything in life doesn’t it?

But if you, like Lady Gaga, believe that 'Money Can't Buy You Happiness' or are having a hard time finding love, contact me and find out how you can start getting rid of the negative beliefs that are stopping you becoming rich and famous and completely loved.

Copywrite - Annie Moyes - January 2011

‘Our brain is programmed to put unpleasant events out of our mind. We tune them out, we deny them, we avoid them and then we somehow ‘forget’. And although we have ‘forgotten’ we have forgotten, a ‘black hole’ will only, like a Band-Aid, cover up the pain and fear. Rather like the programmes in your computer, even when you think you’ve deleted something, you can never really delete it.  Any good tech can easily retrieve it.

“It’s strange that I can truly know I was sexually abused as a child; I remember him and where I was, what the room looked like, his face perfectly – but cannot recall the actual events of the abuse. I remember some of what he did, and get fleeting images of his hands touching me and an overwhelming feeling of shame and disgust comes upon me from out of nowhere, but my mind stubbornly refuses to give me the details. Perhaps it’s just as well, although I would like to know if it was not as bad as my imagination can make it to be, or worse than I want to believe it was”. Or do I really!” Annie Moyes – 2003

When we experience something terrifying that is too much for us to bear, our mind can only deal with it by becoming detached.  One way it does this is to distance us from the feelings. The information about the experience is often not wholly forgotten, but the FEELING IT EVOKES IS! This way the details of the experience can remain in our mind but can be recalled without triggering the horrible feelings attached to it. Read my ‘How A Pig Saved My Bacon’ story. http://bit.ly/yfr02f

“In order to avoid reliving the awful feelings of these events the mind must have known first what the picture contained, so that it knew what to avoid. The mind somehow grasps what is happening and rushes a protective filter into place this steering awareness away from what threatens – Daniel Goleman – Vital Lies, Simple Truths.

These unconscious acts of repressing painful memories are the way our brain creates what psychology call ‘Lacunas’ - I like to call them black holes or Pandora’s Box! Lacunas are the black holes of the mind, diverting attention from the parts of reality that we wish to keep locked away because we fear falling apart if we have to face them.

We all have secrets - most of them are made up of immense shame and guilt and fear and some parts of our past that are so awful or painful that we have decided not to think about them at all. The biggest problem is that by detaching and suppressing these memories they lie in wait and infect our lives in subtle ways we are unconscious of.

Where does all the negative energy attached to these feelings go? Into our body of course! The repressed memories of my past sexual abuse had finally caught up with and nearly killed me. Read my “How I cured my Depression and Fibromyalgia without drugs;  http://bit.ly/x5qpCj

I found getting rid of the negative thoughts and feelings attached to my sexual abuse, I have no guilt or shame or any other negative feeling left on it at all. Not only has this freed up the emotional pain attached to it, it has also reduced much of the physical pain in my body caused by suppressing this past abuse.

Copywrite - Annie Moyes – January 2012

Swallowed rage festers; it eats away at us silently and stealthily. We start becoming critical, picky, nagging, cynical and jaded. Resentment towards our parents is projected to the world at large and we become easily provoked, agitated and impatient. We can become passive-aggressive where smiling at people whilst mentally imagining stabbing them in the back. We become bullies, loud-mouthed, cursing and jeering at people for no reason. We blame others and the world for denying us what we wanted and needed. Or we blame ourselves and take it out on our own body.

 In some families anger is ever present, seething away in sarcasm, humiliation and constant criticism, taunting and beatings, either displayed for the neighbourhood to see or locked secretly behind closed doors never to see the light of day until someone erupts and badly injures or kills someone, or unless that black eye or broken arm worn by a six year old pupil is noticed by some kind teacher or stranger.  As teenagers, still not allowed to show anger we turn to suppressants like alcohol, drugs and food to try and contain it.

• Angry? Grab a beer, a glass of wine, a large scotch or maybe two, three or four or even more.
• Angry? Grab a cone, a joint, a syringe of the hard stuff, a line of coke, or two, or three or four to ‘chill’ man.
• Angry? Eat a bar of chocolate, a slab of Apple Pie with ice-cream and cream, a Big Mac or two or three with family size chips and a few beers to wash it down.

 Suppressed anger kills us slowly, eating away at our joy and energy making us sick emotionally and physically. Anger infects everybody around it.

• Anger is the boy who walks into school with a machine-gun and without remorse mows down dozens of his school-mates because of his imagined rejection and humiliation
•  Anger is the angry, ugly, scary face and body language of their parents that petrifies and paralyses children into fearing them
•  Anger is the man who beats his wife senseless and then kills himself and his children, because grown tired of the anger and beatings she has left him to protect her family
•  Anger is the school bully who terrifies who taunts and jibes and humiliates one child so badly they commit suicide
•  Anger is gangs, wars, road rage, rape and violation, child abuse, terrorism and prejudice.

Anger is a weapon of mass destruction designed originally as part of our survival mechanism by the brain to protect ourselves from annihilation. However when we are ‘triggered’ by a hurtful word or outright rejection, our Amygdala instantly  primes us for fight or flight, creating a backlash that if not controlled drives us to fight back or run away. Often the result is bloody murder (anger turned outward) or suicide (anger turned inwards).

Anger kills, as many of the inmates of prisons will attest to. They are overflowing with people who were so angry they had to take revenge, to pay back, to get even, to steal and plot and undermine and stab and shoot and cut and humiliate and murder those they believed deserved it. Unfortunately for them, the powers that be have deemed anger to be a crime and must be punished.

So here we are gone around in full circle – parents teach us not to be angry by being angry and punishing us, then we internalise our anger and just when we think it’s under control, we find ourselves lashing out. The punished then becomes the punisher. This indeed is ‘the vicious circle’.

Removing the negative beliefs attached to our anger allows us to control it. We can never completely tame anger as it is part of our survival mechanism, but we can become calm, rational and controlled. This is not ‘controlled anger’ it is anger controlled. This is not suppressed anger, this is anger reduced to such a level we always have control over it. 

It’s OK to feel anger at injustice, that’s a normal reaction and to know that if someone deliberately tries to provoke us we will not react. It is great to feel calm and relaxed and in control of ourselves, not only does it make us feel more adult, but it also increased our happiness quotient and attracts people instead of repelling them. Contact us today to find out how you can start getting rid of your anger and become the calm, gentle person you know you have somewhere inside.

Annie Moyes – 2012

Why are people so angry, what makes us angry and why do some of us have little or no control over our anger? As children we get angry for many different reasons, here are some of them;

• We don’t get what we want when we want it
• We are not heard
• We are rejected
• We are ignored or neglected
• We don’t get the attention we want
• We feel unloved and unwanted
• We feel we don’t belong or fit in
• We are punished for something we didn’t do
• We get physically and emotionally  abused
• We feel helpless, powerless and controlled
• We have no choice
• We don’t get to win

There are many other reasons why as children we get angry but you get the picture, in fact if you sit here right now and think about it, you could probably come up with a score of others. We don’t like to admit it but when we get angry we have horrible, mean thoughts, we want to retaliate and hurt those who have hurt us. Sometimes we do, mostly we don’t because as children we are not allowed to be angry. If we get angry our parents get angry and punish us for it. We are told to “Go to your room”, “You’ll get a good smack if you talk to me like that again”, “How dare you speak to me like that”, “Stop shouting and causing a scene”. Often we do get smacked. Anger begets anger!

So most of us learn that expressing anger does not pay, we don’t get rewarded for it and that we need to learn to control our anger, to push it down so that we will become a ‘fit member of society’. Depending on our personality we swallow our rage, bite our tongue and go off sulking and brooding about all the things we’d like to do to whoever it was that made us angry. As our suppressed anger is not allowed to articulate itself, our swallowed rage increases with each rejection, humiliation, injustice or unfairness.

As children we don’t know our parents are training us to be decent citizens so we say “It’s not fair” a lot. We also think bitter and vengeful thoughts. If we don’t get what we want,  instead of throwing the tantrum in Isle 3 of the supermarket  knowing we will get punished for it,  we think things like “I hate them”, “They  never let me have anything I want, “They are really mean to me”, “I wish they were dead” sort of thoughts.

We’re too young to understand the power these thoughts have in future terms as our logic brain is not hard-wired yet, I have never seen a child over 6 throw a tantrum in a supermarket – have you?  So the threats and punishments must have worked – yet these thoughts and feelings become our beliefs and are programmed in our subconscious mind and become part of the story we invent about our parents and our childhood to carry with us into the future. - See Part 2.

Annie Moyes - 2012

If you have a terrible relationship with Money then these Negative Beliefs about money might be the reason;

• Money is hard to come by
• I don’t have/can’t make enough money
• I spend too much Money
• I don’t deserve to be wealthy/rich
• I struggle to make money
• Money can’t buy love or happiness
• I have to work hard for money
• People won’t like me if I am rich
• Money is a curse
• I’ll never have enough money
• I scrape by
• I can’t have everything I want
• Money is not important to me
• Money is a burden
• I am a failure
• I’ll never be successful
• I am poor
• I am in debt
• I worry about money
• I am nothing/nobody without money

If any of the above triggered your emotions, it would be a good idea if you got rid of them – immediately. Negative Beliefs stand in the way of and hold us back from having what we deserve. Just buy a copy of my eBook Wealth Beyond Belief where I teach you how you can start getting rid of your financial problems immediately.