Forgiveness Starts From Within
Are you still gnawing on the old bones of the unburied past? In 1985, as part of my self-development programme, I spent a weekend doing a Cybernetics Workshop; and I was most impressed with not only the content of the course, but also the great people who ran it. Towards the end of the weekend we were asked to do a meditation on Forgiveness. It was explained to us that by being unable to forgive others, we keep them locked inside a prison within our mind, with us being the jailer who constantly has to keep vigil to ensure that our...
read more“I Just Want To Be Happy”
"I am responsible for my own happiness" Happiness is a feeling, just like anxiety and fear, which comes in waves; it can’t sustain itself because it’s not humanly possible to be happy all the time. And do you know why? It’s because the ancient part of our brain that’s hardwired for survival (the Amygdala) is programmed from birth to look for any ‘threats’ in our environment just like any wild animal. If we’re ultra-sensitive or have ‘negative beliefs’ we can be ‘triggered’ or imagine ‘threats’ at any time. One...
read moreThe Missing Man
It is the dawn of my 65th birthday and I awoke at 5am dreaming about being on a trip with a lovely man. But somehow I had ‘lost’ him and I spent most of the dream anxiously wandering around looking for him and woke up before I found him. For my birthday gift, my lovely son had bought me a framed Jack Vettriano print called ‘The Missing Man’ In the picture two women and one man, still dressed in evening clothes stand on a beach looking out to sea, obviously looking for ‘the missing man’. (see pic) I saw this picture on an online...
read moreWhat Are Negative Beliefs?
So What Is A Negative Belief? In all the Thesaurus and Dictionaries we have researched for our work, we couldn't find one that offers the word 'TRUTH' in any connection to the word 'BELIEF'. Why is it important that we understand that BELIEFS are not the truth and are not real? Because it is these beliefs that continue to run our lives as adults! Here are some common expressions used to express belief/disbelief: ”I believe that….”, “I can’t believe it!”, “I don’t believe it!”, “Can you believe it?”, “You’ll never...
read more“Secrets And Lies”
Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you.” – Billy Joel Why do we start telling lies? Lying usually begins in childhood and is done to try to protect ourselves from something we have done/or imagined is bad or wrong so we don’t get punished. If we believe we are being accused of something, we immediately go into a defensive or survival mode and start trying to deny it. This is 'a reflex self-protective response' to a situation that has made us feel afraid, ashamed and/or guilty. We learn early to try to deflect...
read more"I Really Hate The Way I Look!"
"I Hate The Way I Look" "I hate my boobs", "I hate my bum", "I hate my thighs", "I hate my face", "I hate my legs" etc… These are the cries of millions of women throughout the world. They are an endless negative anthem ringing through most female minds, corrupting our self-confidence and destroying our self-esteem. My gorgeous client Charlotte, like millions of women throughout the world, would take a minimum of one hour to get dressed every day, two if she was going out again after work. She would try on the outfit she had chosen the...
read more"Only The Lonely Know The Way I Feel Tonight"
One of my favourite authors, Sebastian Faulkes has this to say on ‘Lonely’ “Lonely means minding being on your own. In general Lonely looks after itself. It helps you generate strategies that reinforce it. The comfort of the dark cinema and the company of screen actors prevent you from meeting anyone. Lonely’s like any other organism, competitive and resourceful in the struggle to perpetuate itself.” What this means is, if as a child we are left alone to occupy ourselves, we can become introverted and fall back on ourselves for...
read moreThe Brain/Mind/Heart Connection
"Healing the Brain/Heart/Mind" In the early 90's I was browsing through the ‘Self-help’ section in a local bookstore and intuitively bought a copy of Daniel Goleman's book ‘Emotional Intelligence’ and it was certainly this book that began my quest for 'emotional intelligence’ – I had never even heard the phrase before! Unfortunately I soon realised I had very little! Not a very pleasant experience at age 42 to acknowledge that most of the time I was still 16 years old emotionally. Ouch! "Forget intellect! It is now proven that...
read moreFairytales - Do They Create Negative Beliefs?
Once upon a time, there was a poor unloved girl called Cinderella Once upon a time, there was a poor unloved girl called Cinderella, who had to go and live with her Wicked Aunt and her two spoiled, ugly daughters. Cinders was put to work, and as she was toiling day after day, she dreamed of a handsome loving man who would come along and rescue her from all this. She then imagined a lovely mansion where she could have everything she wanted and be loved forever after. Well we all know the rest of the story, but just to remind those of...
read moreOvercoming Our Addictions
How To Get Rid Of Your Addictions - Fast! You wouldn’t believe the lengths that people go to avoid dealing with their emotional pain. Or perhaps you would because you are suffering from one of these addictions right now? Alcohol, prescription and recreational drugs, cosmetic surgery, gambling, food, extreme sports, computer games, shopping, obsessions, sex mania, destructive relationships, collecting, addictions of all sorts. Every day you promise yourself, "This is the last time I drink", "Take a gamble", "Swallow those pills", "Drown my...
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